DAY NINE/TEN:

(Yeah, it's not like I started this nearly six months ago or anything. I'm not lazy. And this is two days in one partially because it's the last two days, to the airplane flight is going to be figuring into this a lot, and partially because I need to finish this before people stop ever even checking my blog. Which they probably already have.)
I think I'll just skip breakfast because I think I was asleep for most of it. Not physically asleep, but my brain was not functioning. It didn't really matter that much since I was only sitting with Ash, Lena and Ann, and I was taking advantage of every opportunity avaliable to me. For sleeping. Sleeping opportunities are what I'm talking about.
The garden we visited was pretty, but it was much the same as a lot of other gardens. Except for the peeing incident, which I'm fairly certain was in this garden. And if it was some other garden and I'm telling the same story again, oh well. I checked, but I couldn't find it, so I don't think I wrote it.
Anyway, we were walking through this beautiful garden, and looking at the fish in the pond. (The pond was called the pond of the happy fish, I think. Or maybe I just read about that. No matter.) All the sudden we hear this sound. I was walking with Kris and Meg. We turned around and stared. This was this little asian kid stading up on one of the benched in the pavilion and peeing into the pond. The funniest thing was that he was grinning widely. I mean, he was grinning like there was no tomorrow. And after we'd finished staring, we all started laughing. I mean, it was absurd. This ten or so year old kid peeing into the pond, and grinning like the Cheshire cat. Then the kid's mom, distracted from her conversation with some other adult-type person by out laughing, turned around and saw her child, and what he was doing. So she did what any sane mother would do. She cuffed him on the back of the head and pulled his pants up. She then made him sit, and berated him soundly. That's what it sounded like, at least. I don't speak Chinese. She could have been saying "Good job, my boy. I told you to feed those fish!" Or something.
Another cool thing was a rock. I was big, and there were all these little tunnels in it. The guide told us that if you thought or said something and tried to stick your arms through, you would find out if you were lying or not. If your fingers couldn't touch from the holes in either side, you were a liar, and no more cookies for you. If you could, then everybody just had to believe you.
Needless to say, everyone in the choir decided that it was most imperitive to see if they were liars. I did anyway, even though I know when I'm lying or not. So does everyone else around, because I'm the most horrible liar ever.
So I waited my turn, and finally I got the chance to stick my arms in the holes. It was pretty tight. I was thinking something along the lines of "There are a million dollars in my pocket." My hands touched after a little pop, and I worried that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the money that was apparently residing in my pocket because my hands were permenantly lodged in a large rock. This moment of panic subsided after I pulled them out, and checked my pocket.
Stupid thieves. The money was all gone.
I wasn't too upset, though, since I hadn't known about the million dollars before I put my hand it the rock.
After a brief haggle with the salesperson (we was guarding the exit gate, I guess) over some bottles of orange juice, we left the garden. And then we went shopping.
Ash, Kris, Ann and I all went together. Camp tagged along for a little bit, but then joined some other group. We stopped in a few of the shops, and Ash haggled for Kris over a dress which she procured at a relatively low price, and then we wandered some more. There was some sort of perl exhibition going on, and there were signs and people talking about it everywhere. We were stopped by a young woman who asked us if we wanted to see it. We said we would have liked to, but we had to get back to our group.
"How long do you have?" she asked with only a small accent.
"Um," Ash looked at her watch. "Five minutes."
The woman made a wry face. "Not long enough. Maybe next time." She smiled, and we all laughed, knowing that we probably weren't going to visit China again. "So are you here with school?" she asked us.
"No, we're in a choir," I explained. She asked us a few questions about that.
"How is my English? I like to practice when I can."
"It's very good!" we all assured her. A little later she commented that we were all wearing pink, including her. After a little more chit-chat we told her that we had to leave, and that it was nice to talk to her. We waved, and so did she. It was really nice.
We all met at Starbucks, and I wanted a frappichino. But luck and the Starbucks menu was against me. I had no idea that there was a difference between an iced coffee and the other coffee confection, but alas, there was. The iced coffee wasn't bad, though, so I drank it anyway.
The restaurant was interesting. The food was good, of course, but the store underneath was a little weird. The electricity went off, but they still ran the store with no lights. Maybe they were hoping that people would break something and have to buy it. I didn't break anything, at any rate. Just when we were about to leave the lights came back on. It was odd. I think someone made a mistake reguarding the electricity because a man in a red vest who looked rather official was speaking loudly and sternly to a man in a red vest who didn't look very official.
The temple of the Jade Buddha was much like the other temples we'd visited, except there wasn't as much smoke because a lot of it was inside. And there was one room that was amazing. It was all red and gold, and an enormous golden Buddha sat in the middle, with a bunch of little golden men climbing over him. I'm not entirely sure what they meant because I was too far from the guide to hear, but it was pretty impressive. In little alcove surroundng the giant Buddha were little golden versions, which made the light bounce around interestingly.
There was also a standing Jade Buddha that we weren't allowed to take pictures of. The sitting one we could. So we did.
The final concert was sad. We were doing it with a Chinese woman's choir and the Red Rose choir. Plus a children's choir. The children's choir consisted of a bunch of little kids who were the children on the women in the choir. There wasn't much of a dress code for them. They were all wearing their prettiest dresses and suits. One little girl looked like she was wearing the Belle dress from Beauty and the Beast. They sang one of the songs we were singing!
We'd heard Red Rose before, and they were pretty good.
Dr. Jay called us all up to sing Hua Fei Hua. I think this was a spur of the moment thing. Mostly because everyone looked surprised and he kind of messed up. We sang the song three times, I think. The verse, I mean. But it was fine, and the little kids were cute.
So, after the concert all the seniors were crying because it was their last concert, and then they were graduating from the choir forever. Ash, in case I didn't already say, was a senior. So she was crying, and all the senior's friend's were crying and hugging each other, and I was just standing there. Because I don't really cry. I didn't even cry during Old Yeller. I was sad, but I didn't even really get teary eyed. For Old Yeller, I mean.
I guess I shouldn't say that I don't cry. I do. But it's pretty hard to get me to, and once I pop the fun don't stop. Or the crying.
So I was standing there and I was kind of sad but I don't think the idea that Ash wasn't going to be in choir anymore had really hit me. And I was also sad because the next day we were leaving. But I just hugged Ash and Kris (who was crying and she hadn't even KNOWN Ash for that long) and everybody else, even Camp which was kind of weird but permissible what with emotion running so high and all. And then everybody had pretty much calmed down, but was still teary eyes, and then, for some weird reason, I started sobbing. I don't know why, I was just in the dressing room getting my regular clothes on, and the waterworks started. Kris was still crying, and Ash kind of was. Ann and Meg and a couple of other people were there, and they were like "What's wrong, Bard," and I couldn't even talk I was crying so much. And I was sad, but I wasn't entirely sure why I was so sad all of the sudden. So everybody hugged me (which actually made me cry more). It didn't help that we were pretty much the last people out, and here I am, being supported by three or four people, crying my eyes out, and the stage crew started asking Ash and Ann questions in broken English. "She's sad because we're leaving," Ash tried to explain. She said some other stuff first, but they didn't understand her. And then I think I saw TU, which was pretty bad because I looked awful on account of my make up running (But not my mascara, which was waterproof and I practically have to pull my eyelashes out to get it off. I only have to put it on once a month.) and my eyes and nose being red. The worst thing was that I couldn't stop! I wasn't sad anymore, but if anyone talked to me, I started up again. Camp tried to make me feel better, but eventually figured out that it was only making me feel worse.
Mrs. Jay had a surprise for us when we got back to the hotel. We met on the 12th floor, and sat down. After a long and touching speech (which I didn't cry for because I was finally done by then) she revealed the bonus prize-PIZZA! Good ole American Pizza Hut.
Okay. Good ole Chinese American Pizza Hut. There wasn't a difference.
We chowed majorly. Jewel and Ann informed me that I looked like a racoon or a druggie. Actually, Jewel said I looked like a racoon. Ann said it was more like a druggie. (Note to Jewel and Ann: Thanks an awful lot for that.)
Then came the saga of room 1231 (cue spooky music).
So, Fred, who I had never really spoken with before now, was wandering up and down the hall of the 12th floor. As Ann and I were stationed on the 12th floor, and we was wandering around our room, and as the curfew for that night had been extended to 12 o'clock and it was only 10, we ventured out. I don't remember all who were involvled with this, so I may mention random people. There was something like 15 of us at one point, although it ended with Ann, Fred and I. And Fred's sister.
"So, Fred. What's up? Why are you wandering around the hallways?" I ventured. Fred looked pretty perturbed. He was holding his head.
"I can't find my parents," he moaned. "I've been looking for 15 minutes and I can't find them!" Ann and I looked at each other.
"Well, what's their room number?" Ann asked cautiously. It was clear to both of us that we were dealing with a maniac.
"My sister said it was room 1231." At the mention of the room number, a bolt of lightning was seen through the window, and we heard an evil laugh.
Okay. That's not true. But it would have been pretty darn cool if it was.
Anyway, we went down the hallway labeled "<-Rooms 1206-1233". We figured, although Fred said he's already checked there, that his parent's room was that way.
"Okay," Ann said as we passed room 1224, "It should be on the left." We watched the left side of the hallway. 1225, 1227, 1229, 1233, end of halllway. "What?" Ann protested. "It should be there!" Another check, same answer. So we checked the right side. At this point Meg joined us.
"What'cha doin'?" she asked.
'Looking for room 1231." Fred said with a trace of doom in his voice. "It's not here." Indeed, the other side of the hallway had proven unfruitful as well. Meg looked, and said that maybe it was in another hallway for some reason. So we looked. We searched the ENTIRE FLOOR. No such room. People came and went, and Camp seemed to think that we were dumb until he looked and couldn't find the room either. Then we went back to playing euchre.
After a long time of searching, and several theories about Fred's parents (they never actually came to China with us, they'd been sucked into a weird vortex, Reynold they wizard had taken them captive, Fred was a clone (which led to him exlaiming "I was hatched!"), ghosts had taken them, etc) I had the brilliant idea of calling room 1231 and asking Fred's parents where they were. So we (which was now just Ann, Fred and I) ran back to my room and called. A recording of a polite chinese woman informed me, first in chinese then in English, that there was no such room. I called again. Same thing. Fred began to moan.
"You must have the wrong hotel room," Ann said sensibly.
"My sister said room 1231!"
"Then she must have said the wrong one. What room is she in?"
"1228," he said. We called. I still don't know why, but we got a message saying that there was no such room. I gravely related the message to Fred, who clutched his head. "They've got my sister, too!"
He tried to run out of the room, but we restrained him. We searched for the room again, went up the stairs to see if maybe 1231 was on the next floor, only to be mildly shocked to see that there was no 13th floor. I thought that was just a joke, but I guess not. After over a half an hour of searching, Fred took off running. He'd seen his parents, who were actually in room 1208. I think he may have kicked his sister. He then invited us to play a board game with him. That was the reason he was looking for his dad. His dad had the board game.
On a side note, his dad looked a lot like the dad from Lizzie McGuire. I've only seen that show once, but it was enough. Oh, and Kat made me watch the movie.
So after a strange expirience in Fred's room (it was a huge mess because of his roommate he said, and I didn't really understand the board game, among other things) we went to bed. Then I got a call from Lena saying she was scared because Ash was out with the choir managers and the other seniors doing a senior thing. So I went up to her room, and Ann fell asleep. And Meg's dad came to check on us, and I asked if I could stay until Ash came back, and he said sure. That ended up not being until really late. So we watched movies. In Chinese.
I slept like a rock. A very dumb rock.
Ann and Kris are insane. I think I should mention this before I go on.
So there I was, sleeping, and all the sudden, Ann's rushing around, saying "Kris just called! It's 9:00! We were supposed to go swimming at 7!" I rolled over. We had made plans with Kris the night before, when I hadn't thought I would be so tired.
"I'm sleeping," I said through my blanket.
"Fine." Ann left. I woke up a few hours later. I looked at the clock. 7:30.
Yeah. Okay. Wake up-What? I looked again. 7:31. Um, hadn't Ann told me that- wait, there's Ann. Asleep. I shook her awake.
"I thought you said-"
"Kris is so weird. She had her clock set wrong, and it was actually 5:00. Then she said she didn't really want to go swimming anyway."
"Didn't either of you think to look at another clock?"
"Yeah. When the pool was closed."
I rolled my eyes and went in the bathroom to change my clothes.
We said goodbye to the people who were leaving on the early plane. They were just finishing breakfast. Fred was one of them. We said bye, and then ate. And then waited for it to be 12:00. We watched T.V. Some people went swimming. I went shopping in the gift shop. We rode up and down the elevators. Then it was time to go.
On the plane, Ash and I were going to sit together. We had done so on the way over, and were going to do so again. Kris was behind me, Ann was on the other side of me. Then one of the girls wanted to do some complex switching, and Lena wanted to sit with Ash. I said "No problem. I sat with you on the way here." I could tell she was relieved because she didn't want to hurt either of our feelings. I was disappointed, but was ready to have fun with Ash and Kris.
God rewarded me for my unselfishness. Guess, just try and guess who I sat next to.
TU. Oh, yeah. I was sitting next to him, and Ann and Kris, who both knew that I liked him, gave me a thumbs up when he wasn't looking.
And he actually flirted with me. Most of the time we were either sleeping or watching the little on flight movies (I was watching Hitch and then Monk, he watched Kim Possible and some other cartoons) but then towards the end, we were both awake. I forget why, but one of us hit the other with a pillow, and then we had a pillow fight, and then I started telling him how, if I had a helmet like Darth Vader, he wouldn't dare hit me. Which he said didn't matter, and that the helmet didn't even do anything.
"Yes it does," I asserted. "It helps him breath."
"No. That's mostly the suit as a whole. The mask is just there."
"Not true. It also hides his face because his face is creepy looking."
He considered this. "I guess you could use it then."
I did what any sane girl would do. I smacked him with the pillow.
Even the experience of sitting next to TU for 14 hours could not top the joy of seeing my homeland again. I almost started to cry when we touched down. I couldn't get off the plane and into the arms of my family quickly enough. I hugged everybody, and almost started bawling again.
I was finally back home.
And that, my friends, is the end of the story. (And the end of the album.)