Bard the Blob

I did roughly nothing today.
Oops, I lie. I helped clean out our garage, managed to do my 1,667 words for Nano despite severe writer's block (stupid conversations are great fillers. So are dates with "best-friends-who-are-trying-to-get-rid-of-your-girlfriend-because-they-think-she-is-evil-but-you-don't-know-it type things), and saved my little sister's life. So maybe I did more than I thought I did.
And maybe every time I try to spell maybe I have some weird typo. My fingers are rebelling against me for some reason. I have lost the ability to type coherently. Not that when I manage to not make typos I'm still coherent. That last sentence, for example, was hardly coherent.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Bard saved her little sister from death by picnic table. I was swinging on my tree swing, afraid that the darn branch was going to come crashing down on my head because it was creaking so much (It shows my intelligence that I kept swinging), when Sweetheart (who is 5) slipped of the huge picnic table. It started to turn over, but she didn't notice. She was too worried about the fact that she fell. I just barely managed to grab it. It only bonked her on the head. And it would have really hurt her, had it fallen. No lie.
So that's the only cool thing I did. Other than taking a bath in my parent's jacuzzi. *sighs* That felt good. I smell all nice and fruity now, because of my bubble bath.
Not that I know anyone who goes around smelling people. Other than my uncle. And me, of course.
But even though I did all the stuff I was supposed to do, I feel like a blob. Probably because I look kind of like a blob most of the time. A blob with a large vocabulary that never uses it on her blog.
Barmy blobby Bard blogger. Tee hee.
Oh gosh. I'm beginning to sound like Dahee. The giggler. Scary. Very scary indeed.
It's so annoying, though. I'm not a girly girl who cares all about how she looks. I try, but it doesn't really work. I'm clean, and everything. I'm just not styling, or anything. I kind of blend. Maybe I should consider a spying career. But that doesn't really sound good to me. It's not really like Spy Kids, or anything. Or James Bond. But they all have style, too. So I can't really be a spy, either. I guess I'll just be a professional blob.
"Hello, Blobs Inc. This is Bard speaking, how may I help you? Oh, you need a blob for your movie, The Blob That Ate Manhattan? I'll be over in 10-20 minutes, sir."
Right. I'm so sure they have blobs for hire.
I'm going to Kat's tomorrow before choir. Maybe then I'll feel like less of a blob.
And by the way, I watched some old episodes of Little House on the Prairie yesterday night. They were pretty cool. I liked the one where Pa broke his ribs, and everyone helped him. That was cool. Ma nearly punched him right in the nose when he was plowing on Sunday. Am I the only one who thinks that Pa was the coolest person in that show? And that one guy that got blown up. He was awsome. But Pa was really cool. He was always grinning. No wonder Ma married him. I would have, if I were Ma. And older. Or he were younger.
*cough* Ahem.