Insert pun about plants here:

Here are a few things you might want to know about working at a greenhouse.

1) Sometimes people just don't notice HUGE signs. I don't know why they don't, but it happens. If someone were to ask you how much something is, it's probably on a sign right behind you. Calmly look over and answer their question.

2) Walkie Talkies are wonderful things, but don't forget that customers can hear them. I have not done this, but several of the other employees seem to forget this often.

3) It's really hard not to spend all of your money on plants. Like Mom said, "I'm trying really hard not to spend more than I make in a day." Just remember, Bard, Ipod Nano, Ipod nano. Just keep that thought in mind.

4) Geraniums are death. That is all.

5) Watering is kind of fun for about ten minutes and/or until you notice that your shoes are staining your feet red.

6) Waterproof boots are good until about 1:00, when all you want is to take them off.

7) Daydreaming is good.

8) Muzak is not.

9) If you are a girl looking for a boyfriend (not that I am, but this is a warning) don't expect to meet him at a greenhouse. Mostly you will meet little old Amish ladies and their husbands. My guy count is up to 8, but only because a few dropped in to get flowers for their mothers on Saturday. Before that it was three. If you are a teenage guy looking for a girlfriend, either visit or work at a greenhouse. Take it from me.

10) If you find yourself watering plants, people seem to think that you know everything there is to know about each plant in the greenhouse, including which ones look good together, and what is good for container gardening. And what is mole proof. Yeah. I don't know THAT much, people. I only know where most things ARE, not what they're good for.

11) Deadheading plants is fun! You can pretend to be the queen of hearts. Or you can say things like, "You're ugly. Off with your head."

12) Someone in the botanical world is having a lot of fun naming the Coleus. I mean, who would name a plant Pistachio Nightmare? Or Doctor Wu? Or Mr. Wonderful? Dappled Apple, on the other hand, is pretty nifty.

13) Salmon is not an appealing name for a color. Someone made a huge mistake with that one. Think about it. "Oh, yes. Those are the Pinto Raw Fish geraniums. Very popular indeed!"

14) Just...Keep...Smiling...

15) People always seem surprised when they ask me if I work there and I answer in teh affermative. Maybe it's the camo pants and Mozard shirt. Or the huge fur lined waterproof heavy duty boots. I'd like to think it's because I'm so stunningly gorgeous that they think I'm a model, but that just makes me laugh.

16) There a really fun game you can play. It's called See How Many Hanging Baskets You can Bonk Your Head With. It's quite popular, and many people seem to be amused at the ease, precision and frequency of my basket bonks. Bonus points if they've just been watered. Perhaps I have found a sport to play after all.