Work is work.
I just realized something. This year I am going to be a Junior. Next year I am going to be a Senior. And then I will be all on my own. I'll have to go to college, and get a real job, and live alone, and everything. And I can't do that. I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up! I can't grow up if I don't know that! Well, I know what I WANT to be, but I don't know what I'm GOING to be. Because I can't be what I want to be.
Somehow I get this strange feeling that I'm going to be living on the streets in a few years. Because I think I'm born to be a loser. I'm either going to be Kip, a bum, or working at McDonalds, and I frankly don't know which would be worse. I'm seriously freaking out. I haven't finished Algebra 2 yet. How can I do anything when I haven't finished Algebra 2? How can I do anything? I don't want to grow up yet, I'm just a kid. I can't get a job for all the time. I have a job right now and I don't have time to do everything that I want to do. I can't get a real job, or I won't have time to even do things that I don't want to do. And other than impractical things that I can't be, the only other thing I can think to do is get some job that I would hate that doesn't require anything because that's the only thing I CAN do. I can't even get married and stay home all day because I don't think I'm going to end up married (Which is another thing that makes me worried. What if I die without one romantic interlude? What if I die an old maid? Would that not be awful? I'm not that much of a hopeless romantic, but the thought of never having a relationship bugs me a little bit.). I think I should stop thinking about it, because the more I think about it the more freaked out I get, and pretty soon I'm going to end up crying like I did before my 16th birthday.
the ramblings of Bard at 3:14 PM
4 Comments:
MY DEAR, you should NOT fret about the future. I mean it. It is just not worth it. An exceedingly wise person once said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I, for one, would be willing to bet my entire life that you will get married, and you shall surely find your soul mate before I do. To ensure this, I will conscript each and every young man supposedly in line for my hand in marriage as we speak (you know, that line that reaches from my door to San Bernadino? :P) and shuttle them over to your house. After all, you deserve them an eternity of a lot more than I do. Actually, I think I will do that.
-Dulcea
p.s. Oh, and in case you're puzzled over my "name" in ths comment (chicken feather), it's just a term that my brothers have been using lately. It puts me in hysterics each time. :)
6:45 PM
The solution to all is to go into ministry, Tay. See, you can work at McDonalds, be a street bum, and serve God all at once. That's what I'm gonna do (well, hopefully not the McyD's and bnd bum part).
And, I'm dead serious when I say you do NOT want a guy. I have a guy (well, sort-of) It's not a fun situation. Don't want something you don't want. That's not something you want to do.
And trust me, you'll get a guy when you're ready. C'mon, you've already got MP :P
Don't get down, life will find you before you can find it, and it's not pretty.
5:35 PM
Thicky, don't sweat it man, everything will fall into place, and you'll figure out what you want to do. Heck, college apps are going to be due in like 6 months and I don't even know what I want to do...which is why I think I'm sticking with community college for a little while. AND YOU WON'T DIE AN OLD MAID...I promise.
6:26 PM
You guys are all great. I'm such a worry wart. I'm feeling a little bit better now.
Dulcea: You're right, and obviously the calmer twin. :-P
How about we divide them, because twins have to have equal shares. And the chicken feather thing is really funny. Where did they get that?
Aragorn: Only to serve God I have to be able to live what I preach, and I haven't mastered that yet. Or even sort of kind of am able to do it. And I'll be sure not to want something I don't want.
Emmo: Yeah, but you're so hot and talented you're fine. But it makes me feel better that I'm not the only person who doesn't know what she wants to be.
Silvie: Ditto what I said to Emmo. Plus thank you for telling me that I'm not a loser.
4:01 PM
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